TRIGGER WARNING: Female body stuff! Old people stuff! Medical stuff! — In case the title didn’t give it away lol.
A friend, community superstar, and fellow activist posted on her page asking for advice from women over 50. Regarding symptoms of perimenopause and menopause.
A lot of people on the thread mentioned hormone replacement therapy.
What I’ll share here about my approach is heavily influenced by the fact that I tend to avoid conventional medical approaches and “regular” Western medicine doctors except in cases of acute emergency. (Other than going to the dentist for routine teeth cleanings, and the optometrist for routine eye exams — those things I am very steady about, and have doctors I trust and am willing to pay out of pocket.)
My list (I may think of more):
prayer; ritual; mindfulness; acceptance; forgiveness (self & others); core strengthening/balancing exercises; simplify life, prioritize; step back from relationships/ppl that are draining; accepting significantly heavier body weight and learning to work with it; just paying more attention to my body in general, listening to body; putting more effort into making sure i get plenty of fresh local vegetables & fruit (not always easy or convenient but worth prioritizing)
AND, in a Permaculture Design spirit, seeing beyond the problem and noticing assets:
Also appreciating the benefits that come with the natural midlife hormonal drop. The physical symptoms are not fun but I seem to notice many emotional & spiritual benefits. A sadly huge part of my life used to be given over to man drama and the beauty treadmill. Now I have reclaimed that space & energy for creative pursuits; community service; and just enjoying BEING.
Also there could be a wisdom component w midlife change; I was attributing it entirely to downloads from ancestors & recently departed loved ones, but also, it occurs to me that the natural midlife female hormonal drop could be providing some of the heightened clarity, discernment, boost in BS-detection powers (I’ve always had a good BS radar but it has gotten a quantum boost).
One of the hidden benefits of midlife change is suddenly understanding certain great mysteries of life that used to be so perplexing to me, such as why old people always seem so obsessed with digestion. ROTFL!!! in my 60s i have become a zealous convert to Team Digestion!! i am VERRRRY keenly tuned into the foods & drinks that mess with any point of my digestive tract, and I happily avoid them! Or just enjoy them as very occasional treats, which doesn’t seem to trigger problems.
More info about me: I went through full menopause at age 43, after experiencing mild perimenopausal symptoms for a few years (an irregular period here and there, mood swings etc. — though not sure if the mood swings were perimenopause or just part of the lifelong anxiety & depression for which i had not yet found all the resources i needed). When my period stopped, I started waiting for the other shoe to drop, symptom-wise, but it never really seemed to happen. I got warm flashes as opposed to hot flashes. But I didn’t get skin changes, deepening voice, loss of physical strength, or other symptoms I had been taught were coming with menopause.
I did gain a chunk of weight starting in my mid 50s. For pretty much my entire life I had been a string bean. Somehow almost 40 pounds snuck up on me! So, from like 127 to like 167! I still do consider myself a healthy weight (I was seriously skinny at 127, though I always have been a hearty eater), but the extra weight is something for my joints and muscles to contend with, and I have to take a bit of extra caution. I don’t do impact exercise such as long-distance running anymore. Walking and cycling for transportation, and working in the yard, provide low-impact exercise plus vitamin D etc. Hauling water is great exercise!
I am now 63. It was only around age 61 that I started to experience things like joint stiffness, knees & shoulders & back suddenly taking turns getting injured and me having to rehab (fortunately I found an excellent core exercise class online, and it has been literally a core mainstay over the years), skin rashes / heat rashes from the weight gain (for my whole prior life when i was skinnymini, I mostly didn’t ever experience skin rubbing against other skin – wow what a revelation), more pronounced heat sensitivity, some loss of physical strength, etc.
My sleeping hours seem to have been reduced as well, although I was never a big “sleep through the night” person anyway.
The shoulder injury was the worst. Especially since it was my right shoulder, the dominant arm. I was incapacitated to a degree, and had to find alternative ways to put a shirt on etc. It was seriously to the point where if it continued, I was starting to wonder if I could live independently — which was a crazy feeling. (I share my home with other people, but they are not my family members or intimate partners, and it’s not part of my plan that my housemates would assist me with certain sensitive everyday tasks.)
It’s possible that if I had steady access to the conventional healthcare system, doctors would’ve recommended medication or even surgery. Fortunately, in my particular case (I don’t recommend this to everyone, and your situation may vary), various exercises I found online worked excellently, as long as I did them steadily. And I needed to be very slow and patient with the progress.
Given my occupation as a sustainability educator/community educator, I took my injuries as research experience that can be used to help others.
The other injuries too, I brought into my transportation activism. Transportation infrastructure needs to be accessible to the most vulnerable of us: people in wheelchairs, blind people, deaf people, elderly people, and so on. I now speak up in local government meetings regarding the importance of accessibility. Sometimes it takes personal experience to realize that a place can easily become unlivable to the elderly. And that if we address the needs of the most vulnerable, the place will become a truly enjoyable and livable place for all.
Regarding menopause symptoms, I am also in the past year or so noticing a change in my voice, which I consider a genuinely charming aspect of becoming an elder woman. Also I am getting more white hair, which I think is pretty cool also. My neck started getting wrinkly a couple years ago and at first I was a little bit weirded out, but I figure it’s just part of life and I’m good with it. It doesn’t mean I love to be on video, but then again I never have loved to be on video. But it’s still part of my work sometimes, so when I have to be on video I just go with it.
Skin care note: For what it’s worth, I haven’t worn any makeup for some years now. And I keep a simple routine. I use an oil-based moisturizer (made locally, from natural ingredients, by a local Black woman-owned business — see product info at end of post).
And I am a lifelong advocate of drinking lots of water, have always done that.
I enjoy a wide variety of foods, and don’t try to force myself to abstain from so-called unhealthy foods. Rather than the “antibiotic approach” of trying to eliminate all the “bad stuff,” I go for a “probiotic approach” of simply adding in more fresh fruits and vegetables, and the rest gets sorted out. Food, including high-calorie treats, is one of my great enjoyments in life.
I also enjoy beer, wine, and cocktails, although I seem to have naturally reduced my volume & frequency of alcoholic beverages. A little goes a long way!
And I enjoy coffee. Generally just have it in the morning.
But wait, there’s more!
As often happens with a blog post, things percolate on a deeper level, more layers come.
It occurs to me to wonder if there are things I have done throughout my life, as life habits, that have just happened to also be of help in alleviating/heading off the more severe symptoms of menopause.
For example, I’ve been working from home for decades. This has allowed me to minimize my exposure to artificial lighting. It is also allowed me to spend plenty of time outdoors. Artificial lighting does affect the hormones, sleep patterns, and so on.
Also, for the past 25 years, I have lived within walking or cycling distance of a swimmable natural body of water. In Austin it was Barton Springs; here in Daytona Beach it’s the ocean. That has always felt very nurturing and healthy to me. And may have an effect on hormones.
Speaking of hormones, the “female” hormones aren’t the whole story. There’s also cortisol and adrenaline and neurotransmitters and a bunch of other components of our biochemistry, which when out of balance can plague us at any stage of life but might bother a menopausal woman even more, kicking symptoms up a notch. Accordingly, anything we can do to address stress will surely help alleviate the female symptom stuff.
Some of the best methods I know to alleviate stress (and sometimes even avoid it entirely) are getting out in nature (even in your own neighborhood, even in the heart of the city), doing some kind of mindfulness practice, having a spiritual/religious faith, getting physical exercise, having friends and other community close by, exploring our creative side, and feeling like part of something bigger than ourselves. I’ve always been fortunate to be able to have or arrange those things. And I want everyone to have those things, and the other things that make life meaningful and nourishing for them.
As seems to happen with so many of my other posts, I come around to one core idea: Oftentimes it seems the things that truly benefit our bodies and minds are also beneficial to the whole rest of the planet, including the people around us.
That’s all for now. But probably more things will pop into my mind — because that’s how it usually goes — and when they do I will come back and write them here for you. Peace and love to you all!
PS. Some more thoughts … Our grandmothers managed. How did they?
Is it because the food system and water was cleaner, less poisoned?
Is it because life was a bit more open-air, less sealed indoors?
Is it because they lived in more close and secure and nurturing community? Including, probably, longtime membership in churches, women’s mutual-aid societies, sewing and quilting clubs, and what have you.
Or were they really having super horrific symptoms but just being stoic?
Or, were they having the basic grumble-inducing symptoms (achy joints etc.) but nothing too horrible, and also they were allowed to slow down and sit on the porch talking, and just be old people as opposed to being expected to run around doing marathons and being the pickleball champion of their HOA, and constantly hopping on planes and stuff. (Of course some of the incessant plane-hopping is probably because the grandkids are so far away nowadays. We are a very scattered society. I think it has affected our health as a whole.)
*Moisturizer details: My Organic Secret Body Oil Mist. Her 4-oz size lasts me a year if i use just on my face, neck, collarbone area. I first found this lovely product being sold by its maker at Juneteenth Festival 2024. And I carefully made the beautiful little brown glass spray-bottle of skin-pampering elixir last until Juneteenth 2025. I didn’t see my instant-favorite local moisturizer artisan at the Juneteenth Festival this year, but thankfully was able to look up her website (YAY!) and order by mail.
And that website is: https://myorganicsecretskin.com
She makes other products as well, such as body butter.
(For my arms, legs, etc. I tend to just moisturize with a plain food-grade oil such as olive or coconut. Same as face oil, I apply immediately after shower/bath while skin is in a super hydrated state.)