Tasks around the house can feel drudgey and Sisyphean. Some big ones that come to mind are constantly trimming back vegetation, constantly dealing with laundry and dishes, managing water levels in rain-tubs, mending screens.
In a nature centered household where things are done mainly by hand and with DIY fixes rather than off the shelf store-bought stuff, tasks can feel exhausting unless we troubleshoot why this is.
Here are some factors that came to me:
• Having to do a task alone. Humans, even the introverts among us, are social animals. Big tasks such as large loads of laundry and dishes, are best done with friends and/or kids. And yes, the kids actually help! Or they’re just playing together nearby, which is helping you too. The modern capitalist society pattern, where each parent has to watch their kids in solitude — and hope the kids will let them alone long enough so they can maybe put in a load of laundry etc. — is just exhausting.
• Always being the one who has to do a certain task. Unless it’s your specialty that you love, and you have an agreed-upon division of labor, this is a quick recipe for burnout.
• Living with people who are fundamentally not aligned with your values. Of course, household members will always have different priorities, but ideally everyone can at least find alignment around a shared set of basic values.
• Not connecting the task with collective/community goals. If it feels like you’re only doing something for yourself or your immediate household, that’s not always a powerful enough motive. At least for myself, I find it easier to be diligent with tasks if I also see them as gathering data and improving processes for the collective good.
• Not obtaining a yield. When I say yield, I mean a benefit beyond just “this task is done.” For example, constantly trimming back vines can just feel so drudgey and relentless, unless I am thinking of it also as gaining a benefit such as harvesting basket-weaving materials, opening up areas of air circulation, opening up areas of sun for fruit trees, etc. Sweeping and mopping is a daily thing, but I usually don’t mind it because I enjoy the opportunity to exercise and stretch certain muscles that only get worked from sweeping in mopping. It’s also an opportunity to introduce pleasant scents to the house via essential oils. Mending towels and washcloths can be a pleasant meditative task and allows me to practice different types of stitchery.
• Having to work a “regular job.” By which I mean a job in the mainstream economy, 40+ hours a week, particularly one outside the home with a commute. Many of us are finding our way out of the stranglehold of having to work such a job, and are trying to help others do the same. But while you’re in transition it’s just going to feel exhausting to have to work somewhere outside your home all day (this also includes working fulltime enriching someone else even though you’re working from home), and then basically have a day’s worth of work waiting for you back at your own house. Ideally we would all be able to make our livelihoods from our homes and neighborhoods (and/or work itinerantly / nomadically with few or no constant household chores).
• Being very project-oriented as opposed to process-oriented. In other words, wanting to do a task and have it be complete and stay done. As opposed to needing to keep being done on a daily or weekly basis. Many of us just don’t have a lot of patience with tasks that don’t stay done. But we can train ourselves to be more process-oriented; in other words, less focused on getting some sort of big result. More appreciative of the flow. I’m not sure, but I think that being project-oriented, and not patient with process and flow, may be an artifact of colonizer culture. And as we are learning, we can dismantle our colonialist programming.
• Feeling like you have to do it perfectly. This is definitely an artifact of colonialism / white supremacy culture. Perfectionism is one of the 15 pillars of white supremacy culture. Read about the 15 pillars here: https://www.whitesupremacyculture.info/characteristics.html
• Your house and yard are too big for the number of people living there. Move to a smaller place; or add more people.
Is there anything else you can think of that makes tasks feel relentless and exhausting?
Housework, and our whole lives, need not and should not feel like a Sisyphean grind. Of course there will always be some tasks we like less than others. But there’s no reason why we can’t experience things mainly as an iterative playful flow; and take a childlike delight in our continuous and steady refinement of processes.