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This post had been sitting in my Drafts pile for awhile; I started it awhile back when I was keenly feeling my lack of close friends in my neighborhood. My original title for the post was, “How To Live Without Friends.”

I would not want to live without friends, nor would I encourage anyone else to try to do so. However, sometimes friendships turn out to have an expiration date or a breaking point. And some of us go through long periods of time without a close friend living nearby. It’s good to be able to find meaningful connections even under those circumstances.

One of my most influential teachers (Harry Palmer, developer of the Avatar Course and books), has a saying, “If you want to conserve natural resources, make friends.” Makes sense. For one thing, there’s the simple fact that friends share! I would be willing to bet that closer-knit communities tend to have a lower carbon footprint than ones where people don’t know their neighbors. And the thing is, we don’t all have to be close buddies; just respecting and trusting each other enough to get along is enough. This is reassuring if you don’t happen to have close friends right where you live.

Another reason I think friendship tends to lead to lower eco-footprints, is that people suffering from loneliness are more likely to engage in mindless consumption, drug/alcohol abuse, “emotional eating,” and other behaviors to fill the void.

David at Raptitude.com has written one of the best articles on friendship that I’ve ever read: How To Go Deeper in 2020 – “Over the years, hundreds of acquaintances have passed through the periphery of your social life, and surely some of them would have been great friends if, in certain moments, one of you had gone a little deeper. If someone had asked, ‘Hey why don’t we do something together?’ or ‘Do you need help with that?’ a world might have been born.”

In her excellent 16-minute TED talk, Susan Pinker asserts that day-to-day face-to-face social contact may be the top factor in longevity. (Bonus for readerly types: This link contains both the video and the transcript.) Even more than having close friends and family in the neighborhood, it’s the sheer number of contacts that matters.

Ms. Pinker’s TED talk is only focused on longevity, but face-to-face connection in a community is also essential for building social cohesion, which is a key factor in a community’s disaster-resilience.

This article by Debra Guenther at mithun.com describes the correlation between disaster-resilience and a sense of connectedness among neighbors. “Events like the Chicago heat wave (or hurricanes, earthquakes, wildfires, etc.) represent “shocks” to a system. There are also continuous “stresses” to communities such as slow but steadily rising tides, changing temperatures and shifting plant communities. Resilience strategies, such as social cohesion, address both shocks and stresses and allow communities to both adapt to and recover from their impacts.”

My neighborhood has some of that connectedness (and I endeavor to do things that increase it, from saying hi to passersby and introducing myself to new neighbors, to running a Little Free Library). But we also still have a lot of houses that sit empty at least part of the year. (People’s vacation houses mostly — artifact of a tourist area.) And for the residents who rent rather than own, the rents are inelastically high. The different groups of kids I was so delighted to see running around the neighborhood playing, seem to have disappeared recently. I hope the families weren’t evicted.

How cohesive is your neighborhood? And how socially stable does it feel? Growing up in a military family, we were always the ones that moved. Now, as a person choosing to stay put and try to put down roots, I’m getting to experience the other side. We live in a mobile society, and it could be that for a lot of us, building social resilience on what feels like constantly shifting sands is just going to have to become a part of our skillset.

Over the years I’ve noticed that trying to grasp or cling to stability seems to be a lost cause, but that setting out to provide stability to others seems to work. Not only does it increase the supply of stability in the universe (by however a tiny amount), but also, interestingly, the endeavor of setting out to serve as a node of stability to others seems to bounce back on me; I end up feeling a greater sense of connectedness and stability.

This is definitely one for the “Little Things Add Up” files! You know when your tube of toothpaste is totally empty? You’ve squeezed every last bit out of it, and can’t even get one tiny speck more for one last teeth-brushing? Well, for a few years now, I’ve been cutting off the very bottom of the tube (easy — just use scissors) after it reaches that point. Then I stick my brush into that newly open end of the tube to get at the toothpaste. I’ve found that the “empty” tube ends up being good for about 7 to 10 more toothbrushings! Since I’ve probably done that with 10 toothpaste tubes now, that’s like a month of free toothpaste.

The “empty” tube that ends up containing a lot more toothpaste is a great find if you get a charge out of being thrifty as I do. It also seems like a great metaphor for many things in life. Though none come to mind right now, I bet some will, and I bet you can think of some!

Update: I just now heard from one of my most loyal readers (thanks HH!), who tells me he has been doing this since he was a kid, and that his parents did it also. Not just with toothpaste tubes but with mustard tubes, lotion pump-bottles, and so on. I bet many other people out there are doing the same.

I meant to post the Riot for Austerity rules file for your reference awhile back, but either I didn’t or it got deleted. So, here you go:

This PDF contains the Riot for Austerity (90 Percent Reduction Challenge) rules. This is a set of targets for reducing your personal or household eco footprint to 10% of the U.S. average. This set of targets has guided my personal practices since about 2007.

According to my understanding, these rules were written in the mid-2000s by Sharon Astyk and Miranda Edel, the two bloggers who started the Riot for Austerity movement. They are based on the global/policy targets set forth by George Monbiot in his ground-breaking book HEAT: How To Stop the Planet Burning. The phrase “Riot for Austerity” itself was inspired by Monbiot’s observation that no one ever riots for austerity (though it might be in our interest to promote voluntary austerity).

My book Deep Green was in turn inspired by all these people’s great work.

Having roommates/housemates can be a great thing, even for those who could financially afford to live alone. Besides the cost-sharing, other benefits include more safety/security, less social isolation, and the potential for sharing tasks.

If you’re lucky (or skillful with the “Roommate Wanted” posts), the people you share space with will also share your commitment to low-footprint living. But that isn’t necessary. Very few of my apartment-mates or housemates have been particularly green-minded, but I’ve found ways 1) to not let that get in the way of my personal green goals; 2) to even sometimes motivate them to participate in green practices, even if they’re not doing it for eco reasons.

Here are some things I’ve found that have worked:

– Find people who are motivated by thrift. People who want to keep their expenses low are far more likely to be willing to share my lifestyle of doing without air conditioning, conserving water, etc.

– Don’t stress out too much about other people’s consumption. My low-footprint lifestyle is based on a set of targets called the Riot for Austerity, which gives numbers for reducing one’s footprint to 10% of the U.S. average. Many of the Riot for Austerity categories (such as consumer goods, trash volume, and water usage) are calculated on an individual level. So I just keep track of my own numbers. For the ones such as electricity usage that are calculated on a total family/household level, I hit upon the idea of treating myself and each housemate as a separate “household.” In effect, we are separate households; we are not family and have no longterm plans together. What’s cool is that because of how I run my house, our total electricity usage still only ends up being about 20% of the U.S. average! Water usage also. I have learned not to dwell on housemates’ trash volume, though I make reasonable efforts to fish their plastic bottles and other recyclables out of the trash can when they forget to put them in the recycling bin.

– If your housemates cook at home (my current ones mostly don’t), you can set rules and procedures for water-efficient dishwashing practices. If that doesn’t work, and things get too out of hand, you might have to be in charge of washing all dishes.

– I also try to keep sight of the bigger picture. My low-footprint lifestyle is important to me, but so is connection with fellow human beings. And ultimately, our ability to live and work with other people, not the fact that some people aren’t bothered by lights left on and plastic straws, is what will make or break human civilization.

I meant to post the Riot for Austerity file for your reference awhile back, but either I didn’t or it got deleted. So I’ll dig it up and post it for you here when I can. OK, here you go:

This PDF contains the Riot for Austerity (90 Percent Reduction Challenge) rules. Note, according to my understanding, these rules were written in the mid-2000s by Sharon Astyk and Miranda Edel, the two bloggers who started the Riot for Austerity movement. They are based on the global/policy targets set forth by George Monbiot in his ground-breaking book HEAT: How To Stop the Planet Burning. The phrase “Riot for Austerity” itself was inspired by Monbiot’s observation that no one ever riots for austerity (though it might be in our interest to promote voluntary austerity).

This might sound crazy, but I have realized the power of failure. BIG failure. By “big,” I mean failing at something that matters a lot to me.

Who in their right mind wants to fail? Most of us would say we hate failure and really want to succeed.

Nothing wrong with that! The problem comes when we are so afraid of failure that we never really try. Either we go for goals that don’t matter all that much to us, or we go for the things we really want but we hold back from putting forth our full effort. This stance feels “safe” to our reptilian brains.

I spent my whole life, over 50 years, saying I was going to write a book. Finally, I did. It was terrifying. I got a lot of other projects done, and a really clean house, in the course of “avoiding writing.” But the book got done, and it turned out to be good! Then I was still afraid of failure so I did a half-baked job of marketing it. But, people are buying it! (That book is the nonfiction work DEEP GREEN, the book that inspired me to start this blog.)

Truthfully, if I had been any good at waiting tables all those years ago (I was not), I might never have gotten around to writing a book, or any of the other things I have tried in my adult life. Many of the things I’ve tried, I have failed at. Then again … failure is in the mind.

By the way, I have great admiration and respect for the profession of waiting tables. I consider it a ministry (as just about any other profession can be). But, I’m no darn good at it, which is probably a good thing in my case because I was just using it as a pipeline to steady money. And using it to hide out from the work I felt called to do.

This week I did what might have been the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life, and the undone thing that mattered most to me: I posted a piece of fiction writing in the public eye. Then something interesting happened: I realized that I did not care if people thought it was awful! I did not even care if it was actually awful! I realized that I still wanted to keep up the project! For a person who has done a lot of quitting and hanging-back in her life, this was big.

I am surrounded by people who are doing huge things in the world, making a major difference. Restoring landscapes on a large scale; making big public art; reducing single-use plastics on a regional level; making eco motivational speeches to audiences of thousands or millions. It’s very humbling. But interestingly enough, as I voluntarily experienced the crushing sense of feeling “less than” these people in terms of effectiveness, I started to get a spark of renewed energy for my own efforts. And I started to take joy in the efforts themselves instead of measuring how “successful” I was being.

My highest goal, the one that matters most to my earthly self, is to help ensure the survival of human life on this planet, and co-create a peaceful enlightened civilization. It’s something I will never quit.

But, another thing that matters almost as much to me is writing — not just as a vehicle for the above goal, but as a thing in and of itself. Overcoming procrastination, resistance, raw fear, the depth of the abyss … it feels as epic to me as I imagine that surfing must feel. Words, being able to transmit feeling in words — is so huge to me. Words are a low-bandwidth medium of transmission that can survive for millennia and maybe even cross galaxies.

Whatever your big thing is, I encourage you to tackle it! (By the way, one person’s small thing is another person’s big thing, so don’t think you have to make a grand splash on a fancy stage for your efforts to matter.)

In the course of tackling lower-stakes goals and still failing at them, I’ve found that a string of mediocre failures can be like death by a thousand paper cuts. Might as well go for the big enchilada, I say!

I have more to say about this topic but am going to let it percolate for a bit.

Update: It struck me that failure is like a good set of pruning shears. If I fail at something and then quit, that “something” must not have been very important after all. Or else, that “something” was an ineffective action toward an important goal. Either way, it’s a branch that needed pruning! All the better to focus on effective efforts related to things that truly matter to me.

Well, dear readers, I told you I was working on some fiction, and the time has come to share it with you! ALONE is my comic novel-in-progress about a washed-up eco-activist who wakes up one day to find that all the other people are gone. I had originally planned to launch a complete novella today (February 14, 2020), but the story sort of grew legs, or maybe I should say tentacles! So it’s a work ongoing. I’m going to be posting it here on this blog in installments, as free downloadable PDFs. You can also subscribe to get installments delivered (at unspecified periodic intervals) to your email inbox. Just drop me a line at jnazak at yahoo dot com Later, once the story is finished, I’ll be formally launching it as a book or series of books, which will be available for sale. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy the wild and woolly “first cut”! Thanks for joining me on this ride! Below, I give you Installment #1 of ALONE. UPDATE Feb 21, 2020: Early readers have been enjoying the saga so far! Thank you for your feedback. Early readers have also given me useful feedback on the page layout, and I have reformatted the layout to be more mobile-friendly. Here is ALONE, Installment 1, improved for mobile-readability.